Opinionated - My Say, Your Say
Welcome to the Opinions area. Hopefully, this page will become something that people will post responses to, and so we can get a semi-dicussion sort of thing going on here.
I'll also post any E-Mail sent to me regarding any of the topics I've written about, any questions I'm sent that are worth a dicussion here, or just anything I think is amusing.
The topic this week is: Current Music.
I have a real bitch with current music. So much of it is the same. And unfortunately, it doesn't look like it's going to change any time soon.
Take, for example (this was pre-chosen.. you'll see why), the abundance of "All boy, all hunk" (insert teeny-bopper female giggling here) 'groups'. I won't say bands, because they play no musical instruments, and generally can't sing, either. Groups I continually pick on are 5, Ultimate Kaos, and the Backdoor - sorry, Backstreet Boys.
We'll look at the Back***** (insert whichever ending you prefer there) Boys, since they've been around a bit longer than the other groups. Let's see... they sing a bit, prance around, dress like homies or geeks and everyone loves them. Almost. There are those of us, like me, who think that teeny-bopper "music" is nothing more than garbage, and the cd's that such "artists" are stored on should be used as coasters for hot drinks.
I'm sorry, am I making the paragraphs too big for you? I'll make them smaller from now on. Anyway, the Back***** Boys "sing" songs about love, and girls and such. And that's fine. If they were an original idea. Now I'm sure that someone's going to either correct me on this, or just plain abuse me for it, but as far as I can remember, the first teeny-bopper "all-boy" group was The New Kids on the Block. And they gave up on the idea because, well, they stank. They realised that they had no talent, and gave up.
And then came along East 17. Now they actually did a halfway decent remake of Westend Girls. Which is also fine. However, they also gave up when they decided that the idea wasn't worth it.
And now we come to "Ultimate Kaos". Did someone just pull words out of a comic book when they were naming the group? I listened to one of their songs at my sister's insistance, and proceeded to pretend to be interested in the hundreds of "kewl" photos from her little teeny-bopper magazines. From this, I now have three questions :
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1) Where is the chaos? As far as I know, chaos is randomness, and Ultimate Chaos suggests, to me at least, I may be wrong, ultimate randomness (chaos may have become staleness in the past few years). Where is the chaos in the group? I have yet to see any. |
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2) Since there is no chaos in the group, what are they actually the Ultimate at? Putting their hat on backwards in the quickest time? Acting like they have some form of talent? Perhaps no so much the last one. |
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3) Who taught them to spell? Chaos is spelt 'C' - 'H' - 'A' - 'O' - 'S'. I've never seen it spelt any other way in any dictionary. Did they ever make it past remedial spelling? Or was kindergarden too advanced for them? |
And finally, in this little category, I'm going to pick on 5. Five. Hmm. What kind of name is that? It's not even the word. It's the digit. Wow. I bet that took a lot of brain power to work out. They are just another example of all the "same sh**, different bucket" syndrome. They sing the same style of songs, with the same synthesiser backing "music", and with much the same outfits and appearances.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind people liking that kind of... stuff. But this is a page for people, primarily me, to put up their opinions. I'd love for you to send me email saying
"Oh, I hate you. You are such a nasty person for picking on my favourite group. They are the bestest in the world. They sing brilliantly, and I bet you couldn't do better."
Well, you're right. I couldn't do better, because I'm not a singer. I don't pretend to be. Unlike several groups floating around at the moment. Unless I'm in the shower, when I can sing with the best of them. But then, all guys can sing excellently in the shower. WITHOUT, might I add, any form of synthisised noise.
That's all for the minute,
MC_Malky
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you all want to write now that I've insulted your favourite groups.